My daughter was 3 when a photographer asked her not to smile for an official photo.
She didn't understand why. She smiles in every other photo. But for this one, rules said she had to look serious.
And I thought - this is kind of how the world works, isn't it? From a very young age, someone is already telling you how to look, how to behave, what expression to wear.
The uncomfortable numbers
We say we believe in equality. Every company has it on their values page. Every leader says the right words in town halls.
But then you look at the actual data.
Pay gaps that persist decade after decade. Leadership teams that still don't reflect the population. Policies that sound progressive on paper but don't change anything in practice.
Google paid $118 million to settle a gender pay gap lawsuit. That's not a startup that didn't know better - that's one of the most data-driven companies on earth.
If Google can't get this right with all their data and resources, what does that tell us?
The gap between stated values and actual behavior is the most honest measure of any organization's culture.
Why this matters for managers
As a manager, you control a small piece of the world. Your team. Your hiring decisions. Your promotions. Your meeting dynamics.
And in that small piece, you have real power to close the gap between values and actions.
Not through grand gestures or company-wide initiatives (though those help). But through the daily decisions that nobody sees.
Who gets to speak in meetings? Who gets the interesting project? Who gets the benefit of the doubt when they make a mistake? Who gets mentored, and who gets managed?
These micro-decisions, multiplied across thousands of meetings and millions of managers, are what actually shape workplace culture.
The optimist's dilemma
I'm an optimist by nature. I look at my daughter and I think: by the time she enters the workforce, things will be different.
But then I remember that my parents' generation thought the same thing. And their parents before them.
Progress isn't automatic. It doesn't happen because we believe in it. It happens because people - managers, leaders, individuals - actively choose to close the gap. Every day. In their own corner of the world.
Take a few minutes today. Think about what you can do in your corner. In your team. In your department.
Not the big stuff. The small stuff that actually adds up.