The adrenaline was high at first.
When someone on your team goes on extended leave - parental leave, sabbatical, medical leave, military service, whatever the reason - the rest of the team rallies. Everyone covers. Everyone feels a little heroic.
But then two months pass.
The adrenaline drops. And you've learned to manage with a smaller team. You've adapted.
The problem with adapting too well
Two months is a lot of team meetings without them.
That's a lot of sprints where they don't get counted.
That's a lot of decisions made without their input.
And we, as humans, adapt to changes. Not out of malice - out of necessity. We learn to get by with what we have.
That's why the expression "out of sight, out of mind" exists. It's a defense mechanism.
But just because it's natural doesn't mean it's right.
What they're thinking while they're gone
Here's what's going through their mind, even when they're nowhere near the office:
- "Did someone take over my project? The interesting one?"
- "Will they still give me that promotion they promised?"
- "They're probably doing that thing I told them not to do."
- "When I come back, will my place still be there?"
These aren't irrational fears. They're perfectly reasonable concerns that grow louder the longer someone is away.
What managers need to do
If you're managing a team with someone absent, here's the job:
Keep their presence alive. Mention their name in team meetings. Not in a "poor them" way - in a "they're coming back and they're still part of this team" way.
Stay in touch. A quick message every couple of weeks. "Hey, just wanted you to know we're keeping your seat warm. Here's what's happening." It takes 30 seconds and it means everything.
Protect their commitments. That promotion you discussed before they left? It should still be there when they return. The project they started? They should be able to pick it back up.
Prepare for re-entry. Coming back after a long absence is jarring. The team has inside jokes you don't get. Decisions were made you weren't part of. New people joined who don't know you. A good manager plans for this transition.
The real test of management
Anyone can manage the people who show up every day. The real test is how you manage the people who can't be there.
Don't let "out of sight, out of mind" become your default.
They deserve better. And when you're the one who's away someday, you'll want the same.