The Pause
When someone gives you feedback, don't respond immediately. Thank them. Say you'll think about it. That's it. Wait until your nervous system has calmed down.
Separate Person from Content
Whoever gave you feedback — they're not the authority on truth. They just have one perspective. What did they actually observe? That's the content. Separate that from whether you like them or whether you think they're right.
Ask Specific Questions
"What do you mean?" is vague. "When did you notice this?" or "What would you have done instead?" gives you actual information to work with.
Sit With It
After you understand what they said, don't immediately agree or disagree. Live with it for a day or two. Let your subconscious process. Usually what was fuzzy becomes clear.
Then Decide
After all that, you're in a position to actually make a choice. Do you agree? Does this change how you'll do things? Or do you respectfully disagree?
Either way, you've actually heard the feedback instead of just defended against it. That's the whole skill.